Don't that make it harder? I mean -- the first time, y'didn't know. What livin' without him would be like.

[ maybe that wasn't the right thing to say. she stops -- she makes herself stop, consciously reining herself in a little again. she isn't sure how to express all the things she's feeling quite right.

finally: ]

Y'gotta get back up from this. I need y'here, hon.