[ He shakes his head miserably, though a part of him can't quite bring himself to telling her just what it was. He doesn't want to feel like any more of a traitor than he had back then. ]
He was, he got upset with me and I should have known better, I shouldn't h-have brought the past into it at all. I just w-wanted to be honest, but he can hold onto something forever.
[ Slowly he refills his glass again. ]
I don't know where he's going to stay. At home I could at least count on him being at the headquarters most likely, but there's nothing familiar here.
[ if she's beginning to feel impatient with the situation, it's because she hates it, seeing nelson like this -- he deserves to be happy, she has to believe that -- and because it's easy for her to blame hooded justice, easy for her to let her resentment of him skew her perspective.
she has half a mind just to hunt him down and drag him back -- ]
That's it. I ain't sittin' around lettin' this happen.
[ she makes an annoyed gesture with her hand. ]
I'm gonna find that sonnuva bitch an' carry him back in a potato sack if I gotta.
[ He looks at her, his eyes tired and red, before he manages a weak smile. It's a nice sentiment -- he shouldn't have expected less, from Lil -- though maybe because he's too upset to be properly rational or because he's had too much to drink he doesn't really consider that she's serious. Normally, he'd probably know better. ]
That's thoughtful of you. I'm sure even if you did find him he'd just tell you he doesn't want to see me. [ He dabs his wet cheeks with his sleeve again and his shoulders slump in self-defeat. ] He's stubborn when he makes up his mind. I-I just have to remind myself that I should have seen it coming.
[ it's obvious that lil won't change her mind now -- she's set her course, right or wrong, for better or for worse. there's probably nothing short of an army that could stop her now. she's a woman on the war path. ]
Y'just gotta promise you'll hang tight an' wait. I'm gonna make this better.
[ Nelson empties his glass, staring a little blankly forward. He leans against her slightly, again appreciating the sentiment even if he doesn't think there's any way to make it better. ]
You didn't have to come all the way over. Thank you for keeping me company.
What're y'thankin' me for? I'm doin' what friends do, ain't I?
[ it's gentle though, not angry. maybe just a little tired. she gives his arm a little squeeze before setting her own glass down, then reaching to remove his from his hand. ]
[ Dabbing his eyes again, he leans against the back of the couch so that he doesn't wobble or fall over. It's a little embarrassing, her seeing him like this when not long ago he'd been trying to help her. Not that not following his own romantic advice is his only hypocrisy. ]
You're too good to me, Lil. Y-you don't have to do anything, he's always just done what he wanted and gone where he wanted. Nothing I've ever said has stuck.
[ she has a strong, but surprisingly gentle sort of firmness to her voice. it's certainty -- certainty in her feelings for him, and in the fact that he deserves to be cared for.
she rubs his back, doesn't rush him. ]
I know I don't gotta do anythin'. But I ain't doin' it 'cause I gotta, alright? Now I want you t'get some rest. If y'don't stop cryin' an' sleep a little, your eyes'll swell right damn shut, an' then what am I gonna do with you?
[ At first he shakes his head, but then he nods, taking a shaky breath inward. He leans against the wall, trying to get steady on his feet. ]
I can't sleep now. I have to call Rick in a few hours about work, b-but I'll try to get some rest in between if I can make myself stop wondering for an hour or so what on earth went so wrong.
I should be the one to call, it won't reflect well if I made someone else call in on my behalf. B-besides, I'll need to give him a reason, and-- Just let me handle that much.
[ He inhales, brushing his hand through his hair to sweep it back -- though it still sticks out and hangs in his face in places -- as he stands on his own weight. ]
I worry about everything. [ With a weary smile. ] Too afraid of tomorrow.
[ she lets out a little bit of a breath, reaching over to smooth his air out for him in brisk pushes of her hands. she's fussing now, because there's nothing else she can do right now, and there's nothing that frustrates her more than powerlessness. ]
Ain't nothin' t'be afraid of. [ it's hard to say if she believes that or if it's bravado. in the moment, maybe she means it. ] You're gonna be fine.
[ another exhale. then she's putting her hands on his shoulders, leaning down so she can look him in the eyes. her lips are pressed thin for a moment, but the other lines of her face stay soft, her expression made gentle instead of stern by her affection. ]
Hon. What're y'gonna do if y'find him? If y'ask him t'come back an' he says no? Nelly, I love you, but y'ain't got a spine with that man.
[ she lets go. ]
I'm gonna look for him. You're gonna call Rick. An' then you're gonna stay right here an' wait for me.
[ She's right, of course; Nelson can't argue that fact, nor is it even the first time someone's said it to him. He rubs his eyes with his hand slowly, lowering his head. ]
Maybe I could make him listen. [ He doesn't sound like he believes it. ] He should know that I'm willing to change, if that... if that's what it takes, I don't think he'll listen to you. He doesn't trust anybody, he gets especially stubborn with people he doesn't like.
[ He goes quiet a moment, then with tired curiosity: ]
[ the question is a bit earnest, a bit concerned -- like in her mind, she has trouble fathoming him being alright, with the way things are right now. like she thinks unless she forces something to happen, it's not possible. because in his position, she'd be crazy, screaming, manic -- lost. and "all right" just wouldn't seem real. ]
Don't that make it harder? I mean -- the first time, y'didn't know. What livin' without him would be like.
[ maybe that wasn't the right thing to say. she stops -- she makes herself stop, consciously reining herself in a little again. she isn't sure how to express all the things she's feeling quite right.
finally: ]
Y'gotta get back up from this. I need y'here, hon.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He was, he got upset with me and I should have known better, I shouldn't h-have brought the past into it at all. I just w-wanted to be honest, but he can hold onto something forever.
[ Slowly he refills his glass again. ]
I don't know where he's going to stay. At home I could at least count on him being at the headquarters most likely, but there's nothing familiar here.
no subject
she has half a mind just to hunt him down and drag him back -- ]
That's it. I ain't sittin' around lettin' this happen.
[ she makes an annoyed gesture with her hand. ]
I'm gonna find that sonnuva bitch an' carry him back in a potato sack if I gotta.
no subject
[ He looks at her, his eyes tired and red, before he manages a weak smile. It's a nice sentiment -- he shouldn't have expected less, from Lil -- though maybe because he's too upset to be properly rational or because he's had too much to drink he doesn't really consider that she's serious. Normally, he'd probably know better. ]
That's thoughtful of you. I'm sure even if you did find him he'd just tell you he doesn't want to see me. [ He dabs his wet cheeks with his sleeve again and his shoulders slump in self-defeat. ] He's stubborn when he makes up his mind. I-I just have to remind myself that I should have seen it coming.
no subject
[ it's obvious that lil won't change her mind now -- she's set her course, right or wrong, for better or for worse. there's probably nothing short of an army that could stop her now. she's a woman on the war path. ]
Y'just gotta promise you'll hang tight an' wait. I'm gonna make this better.
no subject
You didn't have to come all the way over. Thank you for keeping me company.
no subject
[ it's gentle though, not angry. maybe just a little tired. she gives his arm a little squeeze before setting her own glass down, then reaching to remove his from his hand. ]
How about we get you t'bed, hon?
no subject
[ He shakes his head before he sets his glass down, getting shakily to his feet anyway. He continues a little miserably, skeptically: ]
B-but it is late. Maybe if I'm lucky he'll have come back by the morning.
no subject
Hon, I know it ain't the same, but I adore you, y'know? An' I hate t'see y'like this.
no subject
You're too good to me, Lil. Y-you don't have to do anything, he's always just done what he wanted and gone where he wanted. Nothing I've ever said has stuck.
no subject
[ she has a strong, but surprisingly gentle sort of firmness to her voice. it's certainty -- certainty in her feelings for him, and in the fact that he deserves to be cared for.
she rubs his back, doesn't rush him. ]
I know I don't gotta do anythin'. But I ain't doin' it 'cause I gotta, alright? Now I want you t'get some rest. If y'don't stop cryin' an' sleep a little, your eyes'll swell right damn shut, an' then what am I gonna do with you?
no subject
I can't sleep now. I have to call Rick in a few hours about work, b-but I'll try to get some rest in between if I can make myself stop wondering for an hour or so what on earth went so wrong.
no subject
[ she hovers close, like she wants to be able to catch him if he stumbles. ]
I'm gonna take care of this. I told y'so, didn't I?
no subject
[ He shakes his head again, more insistently this time. He looks at her with wet, red eyes. ]
There isn't anything to do, Lil. Don't trouble yourself.
no subject
[ she sounds a little impatient, but it's unfocused, caused by the situation more than the people. ]
Stop worryin' about what I'm gonna do. It's you y'gotta take care of, before y'give one of us a goddamn heart attack.
no subject
[ He inhales, brushing his hand through his hair to sweep it back -- though it still sticks out and hangs in his face in places -- as he stands on his own weight. ]
I worry about everything. [ With a weary smile. ] Too afraid of tomorrow.
no subject
Ain't nothin' t'be afraid of. [ it's hard to say if she believes that or if it's bravado. in the moment, maybe she means it. ] You're gonna be fine.
no subject
[ He doesn't necessarily sound convinced, but he'll be obsessing the rest of the night if he decides to keep dwelling on it now. ]
Do you think I should look for him? [ He's not sure if he wants to, but he's curious about what Lil thinks. ] Tomorrow?
no subject
Hon. What're y'gonna do if y'find him? If y'ask him t'come back an' he says no? Nelly, I love you, but y'ain't got a spine with that man.
[ she lets go. ]
I'm gonna look for him. You're gonna call Rick. An' then you're gonna stay right here an' wait for me.
no subject
Maybe I could make him listen. [ He doesn't sound like he believes it. ] He should know that I'm willing to change, if that... if that's what it takes, I don't think he'll listen to you. He doesn't trust anybody, he gets especially stubborn with people he doesn't like.
[ He goes quiet a moment, then with tired curiosity: ]
Are you coming back?
no subject
[ her answer is immediate, certain. times like this, at least if she can't be steady for herself, she can be steady for someone she cares about. ]
Someone's gotta make sure you're takin' care of yourself. It'll give me some peace a'mind anyway.
no subject
[ He tries to smile reassuringly. ]
I'll be all right.
no subject
[ the question is a bit earnest, a bit concerned -- like in her mind, she has trouble fathoming him being alright, with the way things are right now. like she thinks unless she forces something to happen, it's not possible. because in his position, she'd be crazy, screaming, manic -- lost. and "all right" just wouldn't seem real. ]
Really, hon?
no subject
[ He hesitates, biting his lower lip and looking at his feet in mild, tired distress. ]
...Well, I haven't figured it out that far yet. But I will.
no subject
[ maybe that wasn't the right thing to say. she stops -- she makes herself stop, consciously reining herself in a little again. she isn't sure how to express all the things she's feeling quite right.
finally: ]
Y'gotta get back up from this. I need y'here, hon.
no subject
I don't deserve him. I really don't. It's all my fault what happened back then, and this time I know I must have drove him away.
[ He swallows slowly, looking at her. It's a long, silent couple of moments before he finally goes on. ]
I'm not going anywhere.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)