glassbox | IC CONTACT.

[ It takes her a while. She's not usually a nervous person by nature, but something about seeing the voicemail and knowing it's him but not knowing what to expect makes it difficult to listen to the recording. She puts it off for a few hours, and maybe she only gives in because she's missed hearing his voice.

It's impulsive, when she calls him back. If she thinks about it too hard... She has no solutions. But she wants to call him, so she does. Waiting for the ringing to stop makes her restless, and she paces until he answers. Then, simply, and a bit quietly: ]

Hi, Matt.

Hi.

[It's not helpful, to just sit and listen to her breathe, for those first few moments. It's funny how you miss details like that, when someone isn't around anymore.]

I wasn't sure you'd call back.

[ It's harder than she thought it'd be, even with the padding of a few weeks. Her feelings automatically swell up in her chest when she hears him answer. She does her best to play it off. ]

Why wouldn't I call y'back?

Because we had a huge fight, and we haven't spoken in almost a month?

[Even though he's still angry, on some level; thinking of it, them, behind his back, makes his fists clench so hard he almost feels like he might snap his cane. He didn't really want a fight. It hurt. It hurt a lot, and he hadn't even asked for much of anything. But just letting it lie isn't helping anything. At the very least, it's...well. If it's going to sit there and fester, he should do. Something.]

[ She exhales, sitting down on the couch and letting her head fall back so that her stare is directed at the ceiling. ]

Well, we're talkin' now. [ A little pause, before she goes on: ] You're still mad at me.

[At least she's not yelling at him.]

Yes. [A beat of silence.] No. [He sighs, too, half covering his face with his hand.] I don't know. I'm not sure what the right word is. Mad is part of it, somewhere. Upset, maybe. I can't help that, Lil.

[ She doesn't answer for a few long beats. It's still hard, thinking about him being upset with her. Being hurt. But she feels a little twinge of lingering resentment too, for what was said.

Finally, lowly: ]

I miss you.

[So come back. He forces himself to swallow the words before they escape, knowing they won't help. They need to know what they're getting into, this time, and no amount of missing having her around and coaxing her to return to his bed will fix the jealousy, the upset between the two of them unless they talk about it.]

I miss you too. [All the silences have been profoundly telling; this one is no exception.] How do we make this right?

[ Frustration leaks into her voice. ]

Matt. I don't even know what "this" is.

[He has to stay calm; no hood would come of getting frustrated too, even though he has been. Is.]

Obviously I don't either. But now we have to figure it out. [ He tries not to let an edge creep in to his voice.] What do you want, Lil?

[ That's still a complicated question.

Finally: ]

I'd settle for seein' you.

I think I can manage that for you. Even if I can't return the favor.

[Matt should feel bad about making such a terrible joke, but. It's difficult to hear her sounding so subdued.]

[ The joke makes a bittersweet feeling swell in her chest. Before they'd fought, such a cheesy little jab would've made her smile so big for him. Instead, she sighs, offering a touch of wryness in return: ]

So at least y'ain't too upset t'be in the same place with me. Guess that's a start.

[Well, he tried. But this is a mess, and he doesn't like where it's been left, and at the very least...he'd like his friend back. Or at least to stop being friends on better terms.]

No. I'm not. [I want you to come back, is what he wants to say, but she succinctly made the point that they haven't agreed to be anything, and so that seems far too overt, overreaching. And there's Frank. God only knows what he's going to do about Frank.] You were right, it's not the worst baggage in the world. But it's...complicated.

[ It is complicated, she knows that. And unfair to Matt. She cares about him too much not to acknowledge that. But knowing doesn't make dealing with it easier.

She drapes one arm over her eyes, responding with a faint strain in her voice: ]

I jus' don't wanna lose y'before I have to.

I'm not going to force the issue, Lil. And I'm not going to say you have to choose.

[Even if he really really really

really

really wants to.]

But I don't want to leave it like this.

I ain't told him yet.

[ About us. As if that explains her standstill. ]

I can tell him.

[They're partners, of a sort, and now he has to hold up his end of the bargain and give Frank a target. It has to come out sooner or later.]

Honestly? He might not even care. [ Frank's always saying that, anyway. ]

[Guess who would know how much of a lie that is. But even Matt's not entirely sure, sometimes. Frank has a lot more feelings than he'd probably like to admit.]

No, Lil. He'll care about this.

[And Matt doesn't know what to do about that, either.]

[ It's just a little sharp when she answers: ]

Y'know how long it took him t'stop callin' me Crawley? Or what he looked like the first time he accidentally make me smile? You'd think I burned the man's goddamn house down. He's only ever called me beautiful once, an' that was with two broken legs an' the universe bein' destroyed. He doesn't --

[ She stops. The building aggression stops. At length: ]

He ain't like you, Matty. Y'don't understand.

[He doesn't mean to, but he can't help a wry snort of not-quite-laughter.]

No. We're not alike at all. [Oh, the irony of that. She'll never know just how much.] But I've known Frank for over ten years. I don't think there's anything you could tell me about him that would surprise me.

[And Frank still calls him "Murdock" all the time.]

[ It's almost a scoff -- could've been, with a little more effort. ]

Yeah? Y'sure I shouldn't be the one gettin' jealous of you then?

Edited (html why) 2014-07-09 03:25 (UTC)

[Why are you making this awkward, Lil.]

I am so very, very sure you shouldn't be jealous.

[ It's basically her job. ]

Ain't like I got any right t'be, either way.

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;